That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
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Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
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Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
soo... how was my night?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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