THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
