Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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