You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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