So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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