this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i may or may not be watching the land before time
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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