lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
