So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
