do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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