is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
