The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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