When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
