My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
jump out the window naked night went bad
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
