Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
