I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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