I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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