hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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