So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.