am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.