The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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