maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I understand Curling. That high.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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