My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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