Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.