Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions