remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
