I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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