You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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