I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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