I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
i out mim tonsoeep
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