Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Congratulations! We have a period
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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