UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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