need another drink. this is the easiest way
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
