is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
