I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
