i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
