Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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