I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Mom said you looked used
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
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