So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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