All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
