I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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