is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize