dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
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I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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