life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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