Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
