Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize