Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
