I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
it was like eating out sand paper
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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