Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
