they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
