i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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