I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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