Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
