omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
