____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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