Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
