So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
