Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
