So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
