and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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