Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize