dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
