DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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