This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
