His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
This girl is more easily done than said...
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
