My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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