there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
