i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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