T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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