Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
