its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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